Teaching on example
To bring up children, we have to teach by our own example.
Dalai Lama
Dalai Lama

The Legacy of Example: Nurturing Through Presence

In the words of the Dalai Lama, "To bring up children, we have to teach by our own example." This profound statement underscores the importance of modeling behavior for the younger generation. It suggests that the most effective way to impart wisdom and values is not merely through words, but through the lived experiences and actions of those who guide them. In a world often fraught with disconnection and confusion, this teaching serves as a reminder of the responsibility we hold in shaping the future through our own conduct.

As we reflect on this quote, we recognize that the act of teaching is not confined to formal education or structured lessons. Instead, it permeates the everyday moments of our lives, where our actions resonate more deeply than our words. The Dalai Lama invites us to consider the weight of our choices and behaviors, encouraging us to embody the virtues we wish to instill in our children. This approach not only nurtures the next generation but also fosters a culture of mindfulness and compassion that can ripple through communities and beyond.

The image / the metaphor

The imagery within the Dalai Lama's quote evokes a sense of nurturing and cultivation, akin to a gardener tending to young plants. Just as a gardener must demonstrate care, patience, and attentiveness to foster growth, so too must parents and mentors embody the qualities they wish to see in their children. The verbs "bring up" and "teach" suggest an active engagement, a dynamic process where the teacher is not merely a distant figure but an integral part of the learning environment. This metaphor of cultivation emphasizes that the essence of teaching lies in the authenticity of one's actions.

Diving deeper into this metaphor, we can see that the act of teaching by example is a continuous journey of self-discovery and improvement. It requires introspection and a commitment to personal growth, as one must first embody the values they wish to impart. This reciprocal relationship between teacher and student creates a fertile ground for learning, where children not only observe but internalize the lessons demonstrated through everyday life. The metaphor of gardening thus becomes a powerful reminder that nurturing the next generation is a shared responsibility, rooted in love and authenticity.

In the speaker's tradition

Within the rich tapestry of Tibetan Buddhism, the Dalai Lama's teaching resonates with the concept of *dharma*, which emphasizes the importance of living in accordance with ethical principles. The idea that our actions serve as a model for others aligns with the Buddhist understanding of *karma*, where the consequences of our actions shape not only our own lives but also the lives of those around us. This interconnectedness highlights the profound impact that our example can have on the moral and spiritual development of children, guiding them toward a path of compassion and wisdom.

Moreover, this teaching can be seen in the context of *kenosis*, the self-emptying of one’s own desires to serve others. In embodying virtues such as kindness, patience, and humility, we create a space for children to learn these qualities organically. The *Bodhisattva* ideal, which encourages individuals to strive for enlightenment not only for themselves but for the benefit of all beings, further illustrates the importance of leading by example. The *Bodhisattva* embodies the very essence of teaching through action, demonstrating that true wisdom is found in the compassionate engagement with the world.

Living the teaching

Consider a modern scenario where a parent navigates the challenges of daily life while striving to instill values in their children. Imagine a busy morning where a child witnesses their parent taking a moment to help a neighbor in need, despite the rush to get to school. This simple act of kindness serves as a powerful lesson, teaching the child about compassion and community. In this instance, the parent’s actions speak louder than any words could, illustrating the essence of the Dalai Lama's teaching. The child learns not just about kindness but also about the importance of prioritizing relationships over convenience.

A reflection

As we contemplate the Dalai Lama's words, we are invited to reflect on our own lives and the examples we set for those around us. In what ways do our actions align with the values we wish to impart to the next generation? This question encourages us to engage in a process of self-examination, prompting us to consider how we can embody the qualities we hope to nurture in others. By embracing this reflective practice, we can cultivate a deeper awareness of our influence and the legacy we leave behind.

Dalai Lama
AuthorDalai Lama

The 14th Dalai Lama, spiritual leader of Tibetan Buddhism and Nobel Peace Prize laureate. Known for teachings on compassion and interfaith dialogue.

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Going deeper

The Dalai Lama emphasizes that the most effective way to teach children is through our actions rather than just our words. This means embodying the values and virtues we wish to instill, demonstrating them in our daily lives.
You can apply this teaching by consciously reflecting on your actions and ensuring they align with the values you want to impart to others, especially children. Simple acts of kindness, patience, and integrity in everyday situations can serve as powerful lessons.
Yes, the concept of teaching by example is echoed in various Tibetan Buddhist texts, particularly those discussing the *Bodhisattva* path, where the emphasis is on embodying compassion and wisdom for the benefit of all beings.
*Dharma* refers to the ethical principles and teachings that guide our actions, while *karma* pertains to the consequences of those actions. In the context of teaching by example, *dharma* provides the framework for what values to embody, and *karma* reflects the impact those actions have on ourselves and others.
Mindfulness practice can greatly support living this teaching. By cultivating awareness of our thoughts, words, and actions, we can ensure that we are consistently embodying the values we wish to share with others.

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