Teaching on workability
Even our most difficult emotions are workable, even welcome.
Pema Chödrön
Pema Chödrön

Welcoming the Unwelcome: Embracing Our Difficult Emotions

Pema Chödrön's assertion that "even our most difficult emotions are workable, even welcome" invites us to reconsider our relationship with the emotional landscape of our lives. In a world that often encourages the suppression or avoidance of uncomfortable feelings, this perspective offers a radical shift. It suggests that rather than shying away from our pain, we can engage with it, finding pathways to growth and understanding. This teaching is not merely an intellectual exercise; it has profound implications for how we navigate our inner worlds and our interactions with others.

By framing difficult emotions as "workable" and "welcome," Chödrön encourages us to embrace the full spectrum of our emotional experiences. This approach resonates deeply within the Buddhist tradition, where the acknowledgment of suffering is a foundational principle. Rather than viewing negative emotions as obstacles to be overcome, we are invited to see them as integral to our human experience, capable of leading us toward greater wisdom and compassion. In this light, the challenge becomes not how to eliminate discomfort but how to transform it into a source of insight and connection.

The image / the metaphor

The imagery in Chödrön's quote evokes a sense of openness and receptivity. The verbs "workable" and "welcome" suggest an active engagement with our emotions, as if they are guests at a table that we have the power to invite in. This metaphor of hospitality implies that we can create a space within ourselves where all feelings, even the most unwelcome, can be acknowledged and explored. It challenges the common impulse to push away what we find uncomfortable, instead inviting us to sit with our emotions and learn from them.

Diving deeper into this metaphor, we can envision our emotional landscape as a vast, ever-changing terrain. Just as a gardener tends to a diverse array of plants, we can cultivate an attitude of acceptance toward our feelings, recognizing that even the thorns of anger or the weeds of sadness have their place in our growth. This perspective encourages us to see our emotional experiences not as burdens but as opportunities for transformation, allowing us to develop resilience and a deeper understanding of ourselves.

In the speaker's tradition

Pema Chödrön's teachings are deeply rooted in the Buddhist tradition, which emphasizes the importance of facing suffering with courage and compassion. Central to this tradition is the concept of *dukkha*, often translated as suffering or unsatisfactoriness, which acknowledges that pain is an inherent part of life. Chödrön's invitation to welcome difficult emotions aligns with the Buddhist practice of *mindfulness*, where practitioners learn to observe their thoughts and feelings without judgment. This practice cultivates a sense of spaciousness, allowing us to engage with our emotions rather than be overwhelmed by them.

Living the teaching

Consider a modern scenario where this teaching might resonate: a challenging day at work leads to feelings of frustration and inadequacy. Instead of dismissing these emotions or allowing them to fester, Chödrön's perspective invites us to pause and reflect. We might take a moment to breathe deeply, acknowledging our frustration as a valid response to the day's events. By welcoming this emotion, we create space for self-compassion and understanding, allowing us to respond more skillfully rather than react impulsively.

In the context of relationships, this teaching can be particularly transformative. Imagine a disagreement with a loved one that stirs feelings of anger or resentment. Rather than allowing these emotions to drive a wedge between you, Chödrön's invitation to welcome them can lead to deeper communication. By expressing your feelings openly and honestly, you create an opportunity for connection and healing, transforming what could be a divisive moment into a chance for growth and understanding.

A reflection

As we contemplate Pema Chödrön's profound insight, we are left with a contemplative question: How might my life change if I were to welcome my difficult emotions as teachers rather than adversaries? This question invites us to explore the transformative potential of our emotional experiences, encouraging us to embrace the full spectrum of our humanity. In doing so, we may discover that within our struggles lies the key to deeper self-awareness and compassion for ourselves and others.

Pema Chödrön
AuthorPema Chödrön

American Tibetan Buddhist nun and author. Resident teacher at Gampo Abbey, known for accessible teachings on working with difficult emotions.

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Going deeper

When Pema Chödrön refers to emotions as 'workable,' she suggests that even our most challenging feelings can be engaged with constructively. Rather than viewing them as obstacles, we can approach them as opportunities for growth and understanding.
You can apply this teaching by practicing mindfulness when difficult emotions arise. Instead of suppressing or ignoring these feelings, take a moment to acknowledge them, allowing yourself to explore their roots and implications.
Yes, the idea of embracing suffering and difficult emotions is prevalent in many Buddhist texts. For instance, the *Four Noble Truths* emphasize the recognition of suffering as a fundamental aspect of life, encouraging practitioners to engage with it rather than avoid it.
Mindfulness involves observing and accepting emotions without judgment, while suppression entails pushing feelings away or denying their existence. Mindfulness fosters awareness and understanding, whereas suppression can lead to unresolved emotional turmoil.
Meditation is a powerful practice that supports this teaching. By cultivating a regular meditation practice, you can develop the skills to observe your emotions with curiosity and compassion, allowing you to welcome them as part of your experience.

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