Teaching on presence
The trouble is that you do not know how to inhabit your own life.
Pema Chödrön
Pema Chödrön

Inhabiting the Essence of Our Lives

Pema Chödrön's poignant observation, "The trouble is that you do not know how to inhabit your own life," invites us to reflect on the profound disconnect many of us experience between our inner selves and the world around us. This statement resonates deeply in a culture often characterized by distraction and disconnection, urging us to confront the reality that we may be merely existing rather than truly living. The stakes are high; without the ability to inhabit our own lives, we risk missing the richness of our experiences and the depth of our relationships.

Inhabiting our lives fully means embracing the present moment, acknowledging our thoughts and feelings, and engaging with the world authentically. Chödrön's words serve as a gentle yet firm reminder that life is not merely a series of events to be endured but a vibrant tapestry to be woven with intention and awareness. To inhabit our lives is to cultivate presence, to be aware of our breath, our emotions, and the sensations that arise within us, allowing us to connect more deeply with ourselves and others.

The image / the metaphor

The imagery in Chödrön's quote evokes a sense of estrangement, as if we are mere spectators in our own existence. The verb "inhabit" suggests a deep, intimate engagement with life, akin to living in a home that is both familiar and nurturing. To inhabit implies not just physical presence but emotional and spiritual resonance, a full-bodied experience of being alive. The trouble arises when we find ourselves disconnected, as if we are watching our lives unfold from a distance, unable to touch the essence of our own experiences.

Diving deeper into this metaphor, we can envision life as a vast landscape, rich with opportunities for exploration and discovery. To inhabit this landscape means to walk its paths with awareness, to feel the earth beneath our feet, and to breathe in the air that surrounds us. It is an invitation to engage with the fullness of our existence, to embrace both the joys and the sorrows, and to recognize that each moment holds the potential for awakening and transformation.

In the speaker's tradition

Pema Chödrön's teachings are rooted in the Buddhist tradition, where concepts such as mindfulness, presence, and the nature of suffering play pivotal roles. The idea of "inhabiting" one's life aligns closely with the Buddhist practice of mindfulness, or "sati," which encourages us to be fully present in each moment. This practice allows us to observe our thoughts and feelings without judgment, fostering a deeper understanding of our true selves and the impermanence of life.

In her work, Chödrön often references the concept of "sunyata," or emptiness, which invites us to let go of rigid identities and preconceived notions of self. By embracing emptiness, we can begin to inhabit our lives more fully, recognizing that our experiences are fluid and ever-changing. This perspective echoes the teachings found in the Heart Sutra, where the realization of emptiness leads to liberation from suffering and a deeper connection to the world around us.

Living the teaching

Consider a modern scenario where this teaching might resonate: a busy professional caught in the whirlwind of deadlines and meetings. In this context, the individual may find themselves physically present at work but mentally preoccupied with future tasks or past regrets. By practicing mindfulness and consciously choosing to inhabit the present moment, they can transform their experience, finding joy in the simple act of engaging with colleagues, savoring a cup of coffee, or appreciating the beauty of a sunset after a long day.

In relationships, the challenge of inhabiting our lives can manifest as emotional distance or miscommunication. Imagine a couple navigating a difficult conversation, where one partner feels unheard and the other is distracted by their own thoughts. By cultivating presence and actively listening, they can bridge the gap between them, creating a space for vulnerability and connection. This practice of inhabiting the moment allows for deeper intimacy and understanding, fostering a relationship that thrives on authenticity and shared experience.

A reflection

As we contemplate Chödrön's insight, we are invited to ask ourselves: How often do I truly inhabit my own life? This question encourages us to reflect on our daily experiences, our relationships, and our emotional landscapes. In a world filled with distractions, how can we cultivate a deeper sense of presence, allowing ourselves to fully engage with the richness of our lives? By exploring this question, we open ourselves to the possibility of transformation and a more profound connection to our own existence.

Pema Chödrön
AuthorPema Chödrön

American Tibetan Buddhist nun and author. Resident teacher at Gampo Abbey, known for accessible teachings on working with difficult emotions.

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Going deeper

Chödrön's phrase emphasizes the importance of being fully present and engaged in our own experiences. It suggests that many of us go through life on autopilot, missing the richness of our emotions and the depth of our relationships.
You can apply this teaching by practicing mindfulness in your daily activities. This means being fully present in each moment, whether you're eating, walking, or having a conversation, allowing yourself to experience life as it unfolds.
Yes, the concept of presence and mindfulness is central to many Buddhist texts, including the Satipatthana Sutta, which outlines the foundations of mindfulness practice and encourages awareness of body, feelings, mind, and phenomena.
Mindfulness refers to the practice of being aware of the present moment without judgment, while presence encompasses a broader sense of being fully engaged and emotionally connected to one's experiences.
Meditation is a powerful practice that supports living this teaching. It helps cultivate mindfulness and presence, allowing you to observe your thoughts and feelings without becoming overwhelmed by them.
To cultivate presence in relationships, practice active listening and engage fully in conversations. This means putting away distractions and being open to the emotions and thoughts of your partner.

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